!!!!SEX!!!!
Now that I have your attention, let’s talk about it.
If my mother taught me nothing else, she taught me that a man ain’t everything in life. Let’s set this record straight: a man, any human in fact, cannot complete you when you are a whole human being.
Intimacy is lovely. Romance and love are beautiful. Lust is powerful. But all things in divine timing. As the old people say, ‘don’t rush the brush’. You are no less or more of a woman for popping the figurative cherry.
That first time you open yourself up to someone can be scary so don’t put more pressure on yourself to ‘perform’. You do not have to mimic the motions and moans of porn stars. They themselves are playing a role – literally, it’s their job. Like a construction worker mixing concrete or a seamstress pulling a thread.
Will it be painful? Probably, I’m not gonna lie to you. Will you feel different? There’s no telling. As each individual has their own unique experience of life, sex will be different for everybody. Some people get attached and hung up on the pheromones, some people do deuces and forget you ever existed. But it’s not the outcome, it’s the journey.
No one is going to know your body better than you. I mean, you’re the one that’s been living in it all these years. Take your time with yourself, explore what feels good to you.
Read the manual before you drive it, you know?
If you’re sensitive to smell, light a scented candle; if you’re sensitive to textures, put on comfy clothes like silk or satin; turn on the light to admire your body or keep it off. It’s ‘you’ time. Then it’s ‘y’all’ time.
Now that you’re au faite avec moi, who’s joining the party? When adding another player to the game, be sure to remember the three Cs:
comfort, communication and condoms
Whether you’ve known them for 5 years or 5 mins, have a chat to establish the do’s and don’ts. I don’t care who says it’s boring, shut up and listen to Mama Annie for a sec. I vote for a nice clear verbal enthusiastic consent every time.
Pay attention to these keywords or I will call the police on you. And if and when consent is withdrawn: hands off, clothes on. Period. You are allowed to change your mind if you’re not feeling it anymore.
Choose someone that respects your body. Choose a time and place that makes you feel safe. Choose a song that takes you out of your head. Choose to stay solo if that’s your speed. Whatever the choice, make sure it’s yours; you choose. Have fun. Be safe. Be yourself.