Hey Lovies!
Last week, I was checking on the couples and how they’ve been using the advice given in my column, to better their relationship. #couplegoals #loveisbeautiful
This week, I’m jumping back over to the newbies looking to enter or now beginning a relationship.
Now, a few days ago, I was having a pow-wow with my cousin and a friend of ours. Our friend said she was tired of being lonely and really felt like it was time she embarked upon a new relationship. So, me being me, I started thinking of who I knew that was single. Baps! I suggested someone and she got all excited. So, her first two comments set me back and hupset meh big time! Sis asked: “He cute? He got money?”
Listen, my smile and excitement at a possible link between two people, went from a 100-watt bulb, to one with load-shedding from GPL, VERY DULL. She vex’ meh spirit! So, I got mad and I said, “ya know, that’s why most relationships don’t work out. Matter of fact, it’s probably why une even got a man right now. You don’t work? You only need a man or companion for how they will look and what they will have?” She thought I was being funny; I guess this was because it’s such a common practice for most of us ladies to say it, that she thought that me, ‘a lady ‘, like her was kidding. I WAS NOT!
I just put back up ma phone, didn’t give no link and put she down neat, neat. Good luck to her, in this economy to find this “very handsome, money man.” I also hope that when he comes with the handsomeness and the monies, his attitude matches it. I hope that he is kind, caring, loving, FAITHFUL, honest and so on and so on. In other words, looks and money should not be the only factor in choosing a companion, partner or spouse.
On the other hand, in another conversation, I had a friend who was:
- Single
- Not looking
- But wanting
She is a very hardworking woman, making her money, caring for her child; but scorned. Remember the words, “Hell hath no fury, like a woman scorned?”. I’m unclear of how many relationships she has endured, but I know of the last one that was with the father of her child and it ended very badly. It was bitter. Now, when a guy shows his interest, she’s wary, unsure and generally very skeptical. A few months ago, I introduced her to a guy, it was all going great, until her wariness and skepticism, caused her to start shunning him. The calls were limited, the responses via messaging were limited, until everything dwindled to nil.
To this, I say, don’t enter into anything, until, you’re sure. This is how we play with people’s emotions when ours is unsteady. Be sure, be open, be thoughtful. What we expect is what we should give. If we feel like we are still scorned from the last relationship or talking stage, then don’t begin another one. Consider the other party’s feelings when deciding what we want to do. We often feel like because most men don’t show all this emotion like most women do, it means that they are heartless and have none. It simply means that they are just as guarded and wary as we are because of their experiences with some of us; maybe a past relationship or talking stage or even an experience with a woman like those who focus solely or mostly on ‘Is he cute? Does he have money?”
All in all, let’s be mindful of each other’s feelings by ensuring we do unto others as we would want for them to do unto us. The blame game is old and tired, let it rest.
I’m expecting a ‘cussing’ after this article, but it had to be said.
As always, remember – “What is for you, will always be for you.”
Happy weekend, lovies! Until next time.
XOXO,
K