This past weekend, I had the opportunity to be a model for Orange The Runway Volume III – a fashion and awards show to raise funds for victims of domestic violence. Prior, I’d been a model for Volume II but this time around, I wasn’t showcasing the latest wears. I was painted head-to-toe. In my head, this wasn’t that much different than modeling swimwear so I thought, “Yeah, I can do that!” And I did do that.
There I was…on stage…nothing but panties on and bodypaint…and I loved it.
It may not look so but it took a long time for me to get up there. I’m talking years-in-the-making for this chubby babe to feel okay strutting around with her tits out. As a child, I never even wanted my own mother looking at me naked. At four years old, I hated being in swimsuits at public pools. Self-conscious in an understatement.
But that just makes me so proud of myself, to go from afraid to less afraid. Something just clicked for me on stage and I felt silly about disparaging this mortal form. This beautiful mold for my soul is lovely, it is art and art is to be appreciated and celebrated. Even if by oneself. But I guess I expanded that circle to the audience of OTR. And a wonderful audience they were to come out and support such a worthy cause. I can’t wait for Volume IV.
All my love to Cassie Chu, the artist who allowed me to be her canvas. My goodness, the patience to do this is nothing to sneeze at and she knocked this out of the park. Check out the more of her work on her IG account: @vivrantbodyart
Shout out to my dance partner, Keith Yhap, for being super cool to work with and made the whole experience that much more fun. Check out his dance moves on his IG account: @keny_the_dancer
Life’s too short to stand in your own way of greatness; of your chance in the limelight.
It took a lot (and I mean a lot) of journaling, self-affirming, innerwork and all the other tools people tell us to stop feeling crappy about ourselves. Then there’s moments like these, where you put yourself to the test, where you grow where you’re planted, when you show up naked (metaphorically and literally) so you can see what’s on the other side of fear.
(But if clothing is not optional then please put some pants on)