Hello Hunnies!
I know last week was touchy-feely for some of us. This week, the women will question my sexuality, but meen kay! Lol!
Our discussion last week featured our first ‘When last’, ladies’ edition. This week we will take a stroll into the minds of the men.
Guys’ Edition!
When last a woman ker ya pon a date?! When last ya get an, ‘I got you something?’ When last ya get a random gift? When last ya get breakfast in bed, jussa dry? When last a woman give ya a pedicure? When last a woman say, baby, hold dis money and get ya self something nice? Haha!
Ladies!!!
I feel like us women don’t think the guys need the same kind of affection and attention that we ask them to provide. But, listen, think about a sick man. Have you ever experienced a man when he’s sick? The attention seeking is on 100. However, though the guys give us this impression of ‘manly-man’, they still need to feel like we appreciate them and what they do for us. If they’ve done something for you, let them know how much it’s appreciated by extending the same courtesy to them. Many times our men are decked out and looking good, but we don’t dish out the compliments, but expect them to notice we have a new shoe, hairstyle, bag, etcetera. Sis! Tell d man he look good, smell good, his haircut is nice. It’s the little things.
Men are stressed too, men have bad days too. Men deal with anxiety and depression too. Mental health is real across the board. Just as we want to be called, messaged or popped-up on, they love it too. Shoot them a message and let them know you’re thinking of them, in whatever way y’all do it. Send a meme, a sticker, an emoji, something, but let it say that they were or are on your mind. While we as women, feel like everything is sexualised early in the relationship, the majority of men on this green earth love it if we sexualise stuff. The innuendoes help them with their thoughts on compatibility with us and the relationship being built. Don’t get me wrong, this is not just necessary when it’s a fresh start to a relationship. In my opinion, a relationship is being built everyday because we have to maintain that consistency to keep building and avoid a crash.
This is me really just saying, give what you get. What we expect from them, we should also give to them. Money may not always be there, but even a handwritten note can make them bananas blush. Making or buying their favourite food or drink can make them feel how you really feel about them. Just as we have love languages, they do too. The same goes for us with them buying us flowers, it’s the same with us buying them what they love too. Let’s consider sacrificing a bottle of wine or some other thing that we like, to get them something they like. Take the fine trip to the barber and admire him as he moves from caveman to your man all over again. Take a walk, grab something to eat or make him something and bond. THESE THINGS ARE IMPORTANT! 
All in all, I’m saying to you, that there is that old saying, “Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you.” You like to receive gifts? Give them. You like to be able to speak and give your opinion? Be open to them being done for you to listen to as well.
As I said to the guys last week, I’ll say to you ladies this week- “Be kind, thoughtful, appreciative, encouraging and affectionate, men love and appreciate these qualities, the rest can fall into place. This is not me saying that NO WOMAN out there has the attributes I’ve mentioned, but this is me saying, please stop starting with the good qualities then leaving the guys high and dry. It’s as the saying goes, “What you did to get your man, do to keep him.”
Next week, look forward to me discussing the love languages and how they affect our relationships. After you’ve read this, give your man a kiss (if you have one) and let him know that you appreciate him. Let me know how he reacts.
Your daily reminder from me is, “What is for you, will always be for you.”
XOXO,
K
SN: Listening to the guys in social settings, helped me to understand them enough to bring their thoughts to you.