Hello Hunnies!
I hope you’ve been working on those affirmations and being your authentic self! Following-up from last week’s topic on being happy with yourself as you are, I want us to discuss spousal relationships in this era.
This is going to be our ‘when last’ edition, so prepare to wrack your brains to remember ‘when last’.
Ladies’ edition
When last ya get pick and pick up? A nice date, flowers, chair pulled out, kiss on the cheek, you look beautiful kinda date? When last ya get a sudden call or message to say, get dressed, we’re going out? When last ya meet a man, who was interested in ya brains more than your body? When last ya had an initial conversation with a guy and one month later, it’s still casual but interesting? When last that casual -one month into the ‘get to know you phase’- have you not received any sexual innuendoes into the conversations?
Guys!!! – We like to be wined and dined! A date does not have to be the full works of a fancy restaurant, expensive wine, and formal clothing … ‘some’ of us prefer a nice lil fine walk on the seawall, grabbing a hot dog and a beer, with some nice conversation that does not involve anything sexual. Stimulating conversations for the brain, opens more doors than is expected, in most cases, for most women. Flowers, cost around the same thing as a case of beer and less than most bottles of liquor, these make us feel loved, cherished and thought of.
Compliments will get you most places! We’re not asking for compliments at every turn (unless you want to), but it does not only have to be a compliment on the physical. A man saying to us, I admire your personality, I enjoy talking with you, your voice is soothing, you bring me peace, etc. gives us a confidence boost like no other. It says that while we are building this ‘relationship’, we’re doing the right things and especially that we’re not boring, LOL!
Spontaneity guys, this says that we’re on your mind. This says that you miss us and want to spend some time with us. This says that you’re interested. We love this! We need this! Pop up on us, call or message us suddenly and let’s do something together. It builds our connection and opens us up to each other some more as we get to know each other in a more in-depth way.
Please stop ‘sexualising’ everything! It’s ANNOYING! One week, one month in, we do not need to know that y’all cold and have a ‘hard-on’. We definitely don’t care two fishes, if you have wet dreams, daz u business bruh! Check me back in a month or two, slow down! Especially, if you’re not even attempting any of the aforementioned things, that I’ve stated we appreciate.
All in all, this is me saying, we need romance, affection, love, admiration and appreciation and you can bet your last dollar, it will be reciprocated. You deserve as men to be treated like Kings, but we ask that you treat us as we are, true Queens. Be kind, thoughtful, appreciative, encouraging and affectionate, we love these qualities, the rest can fall into place. This is not me saying that NO MAN out there has the attributes I’ve mentioned, but this is me saying, please stop starting with the good qualities then leaving us high and dry. It’s as the saying goes, “What you did to get your woman, do to keep her.”
There are five general ‘love languages’, we all affirm to one or sometimes more than one, maybe even all. We will talk about these and how they have an effect on our relationships at another time, just stick with me as we journey through the minds of both the guys and gals.
Next week, we will be giving the guys’ perspective, I doubt you will want to miss it. Until then, bye loves!
Your daily reminder from me is, “What is for you, will always be for you.”
XOXO,
K
SN: Everything discussed above are from complaints, discussions and general ‘tea’ that I either heard of, experienced, told of by someone, or observed.